toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize