so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
