she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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