Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
