Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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