Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
