dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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