The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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