I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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