bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
