He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
