You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
