Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
