dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
