Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
