sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize