Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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