Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
