Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
