Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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