Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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