Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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