is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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