think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
