Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
