you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize