Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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