I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
