I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
