unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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