That's intense
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
