hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
