i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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