Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
