Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
