God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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