Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
