Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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