Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
