Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize