Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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