I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize