I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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