Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
