Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
