The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize