Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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