I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so much tequila, so little girl.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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