Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
