I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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