I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
