how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
