If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
