we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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