we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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