There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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