come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
