Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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