i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
