Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
