I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
This girl is more easily done than said...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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