He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
