I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
