Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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