C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I love you. Go after that dick
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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