Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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